What to do in a very sticky situation?

I would really love some input...
I have been with my girlfriend now aprox 3 months. We met on another dating site, she flew to another state to meet me, stayed over a week, then flew home to pack her gear and return to me.
Our relationship pottered along nicely for around a month, sex was great....we talked, had fun and smiled lots.
In the last month, everything changed 10 fold. No sex, no talking, continual arguements...and no affection.
I feel the relationship should end and I should continue on my own path, but on the other hand I care for her. My fear here is hurting her. She left her life in Sydney to be here with me in Northern QLD. I feel guilty, and I do not know how to approach the situation?
Any advice would be welcome.

Posted: 11-May-2010

Re: What to do in a very sticky situation?

Hey,

I dont think you should continue in anything that isnt working for you. You need to be honest and fair to both you and her. You cant be responsible for her moving to QLD. She came of her own accord. If you stay together because of what you think is right (i.e. she moved for u) then u will both end up very unhappy.


just my two cents.

L.

Posted: 11-May-2010

Re: What to do in a very sticky situation?

Sounds to me as if there may be more to this than she is letting on,she is either missing her friends and family or whilst you were apart she has met someone else...have you asked her either of these questions.??.
Would be a good idea to try and talk it through and if you have to part then it could be amicably.

Posted: 12-May-2010

Re: What to do in a very sticky situation?

If you put 'Stages of a relationship' into google and do a bit of reading, you might have something to think about and/or discuss with your partner.  

Most relationships start out exactly as you've described, but limerance doesnt usually last more than a few months.  

Before you throw in the towel, talk with each other about how you're feeling now and what you would like for the future.

Posted: 12-May-2010

Re: What to do in a very sticky situation?

I think you should have courted each other for longer before making the commitment to live together.
On the face of it she has made huge sacrifices to be with you, but what was the rush. How much do you really know about her. Have you met her family, friends, acquaintances??

The excitement and anticipation that "this could be the one" can make us overlook the reality of trying to sustain a relationship.

You need to talk, however be prepared that you may not like what you hear. Also what do you really want, what does she really want and have you got the foundations right.
Good luck

Posted: 12-May-2010

Re: What to do in a very sticky situation?

I often wonder why people place them self's in such predicaments. My g/f and I had 2.5 years of dating because of exactly what was written here. It has been happening forever and way to many times the outcome is the same. I/we knew we loved each other when we finally did move in together.

It would be best, as other have stated, for the two of you to sit down and talk. Many times when people do nothing it is a way of detaching all emotions so saying good bye does not hurt as much. However this is no way to suffer while one of you decide to state the first words of good bye. Even with a break ups there are lessons to be learn so don't look at it as a negative thing should this be the path. No one like to hurt another, I do know for fact that hurting one's self is just as bad, if not worst, as not speaking the truth when these type things occur. Being torn up inside does not constitute a healthy relationship for anyone involved.

Posted: 12-May-2010

Re: What to do in a very sticky situation?

I'm of the same opinion as Greendog. When you first meet someone, its often so intense and nice but what matters is the time after the honeymoon, the bond may grow stronger or the relationship may soon fall apart.
This has happened to me before, though we did not go as far as moving in together but after just 3 months, the 'honeymoon' ended and she just couldn't be bothered anymore.

Anyway, hope you work things out hun.

Posted: 12-May-2010

Re: What to do in a very sticky situation?

Hi,

If you continue something that isn't right for you, you are just being dishonest to yourself and her and it will make matters worse.  She made the decision to move to QLD so she needs to own that decision.

Hard situation take care and try to be true to you.

Posted: 12-May-2010

Re: What to do in a very sticky situation?

Maybe too much too soon ?
Agree with other responses so......
Talk, be honest with  each other and either move on together or go your own ways while your still young... Yes it hurts.... But needs to be addressed .....  Good luck both of you   elf

Posted: 12-May-2010

Re: What to do in a very sticky situation?

["In the last month, everything changed 10 fold. No sex, no talking, continual arguements...and no affection.']


Well that pretty much covers what happens when you build a relationship tent out of hormones, lust and cards without a foundation. You're relying on luck to get you through rather than on what you both know or understand of the other.

Love and respect are not necessarily the travelling companions of attraction and lust but rather arrive unbeknownst and show themselves as pillars to the entrance of the temple in times of adversity. Each of you contributing by your thoughts, words and actions to the architecture of this temple.

As you're single today... can we safely assume the problem is solved by communication and open discussion?

Posted: 12-May-2010