Advice please

Ok. I'm totally new to this and not sure how to go about things without seeming like an idiot.
Basically I feel my sexuality is fluid however not entirely sure as I've never been in a relationship before. At 26yrs this seems abit odd- have been asked out by blokes but not attracted to them at all, feel more tuned in to women, find women more interesting and attractive - just feels natural. Anyway for the past year I've been slowly coming to terms with this new insight as a late developer; as I've never felt confident enough in myself to explore this aspect before and I've had life events and studying to focus all my energies on.
Anyway I kind of hinted about my attraction to women to my friends and they are totally supportive. However I haven't got a clue where to start meeting others face to face. Also all my friends are settled with their significant others and I'm the only singleton. Another factor is the place I live in is fairly small so meeting other's might be problamatic and thirdly I am due to relocate in about 2 months to start full time university life so I don't know whether to just wait until I'm at uni before exploring options as it wouldn't be fair to lead someone on and then relocate miles away as I'm in England and uni is in Wales. Any insights would be most welcome.
Ta

Posted: 18-Jul-2010

Re: Advice please

I don't know how useful my advice will be since I'm currently sitting in a cafe, alone, wishing I had a lovely lady to talk to but have made no attempts at striking up a conversation with anyone.  But here goes anyways.

If university in England is anything like college in the U.S. you will likely have opportunities to explore your sexuality while you are studying.  I have many friends that had their first lesbian experiences while at school.  

That of course is a generalization and not based off of first-hand experience since I thought it would be a good idea to join the military instead of going to college.  But, in many ways, the military is like college.  We live in barracks together, work together, while in training we study together, and we socialize together.  My first female experience was with another soldier/good friend.

You can also try joining GLBT activity groups in your local area.  I think that is a more likely place for you to meet other women.  Clubs and bars can be intimidating.  I find that I am one of the very few "single" people when I go out to a club and I end up feeling very awkward and isolated.  But, if you are very outgoing, you may meet some ladies there too.

Someone stated in a different thread that the grocery store is full of lesbians, but I just don't see how anyone would approach another woman and strike up a conversation there.

Anyways, those are my suggestions.  Hope they help give you a little direction.

Posted: 18-Jul-2010

Re: Advice please

find out what kind of GLBTI activities are on in your area and pick something you like / might feel comfortable doing, then go.

If it is a disaster and you feel like you've made a fool of yourself, well, at least you are leaving for Wales and everyone will have forgotten by the time you come back.  If you do meet someone, then terrific - and it is only about 150 miles to Wales (which we girls here in Australia would consider a arvo drive).  go for it - nothing to lose, everything to gain.

Posted: 18-Jul-2010

Re: Advice please

Hi

Why not start right now? that way you get some practice in! I googled your area for lesbian groups and there seems to be a few of them. Usually the easiest way is to call and find out what is on in your area - I guess that unless you don't drive or the buses are no good you may have to travel to somewhere - as Paisley said 150kms is nothing here to go out for the afternoon - try and find a group that reflects your own interests - or join a coming out group - you may be fine with yourself but there are always loads of women at those and the thing is it is about connecting and making friends. You may not immediately have a great friend or even a GF but you have to be in it first. Become a volunteer with a GBLTQ group - that is always a great way to meet people. The other thing is it can be quite daunting to put yourself out there by yourself - I have found that most events on have someone who greets new women so do let them know if you are a bit shy.

At uni there will be a GBLTQ group - usually there to support people - they may have events on as well. The other thing I thought about was is to message women on here who are in Wales / Northhamptonshire and ask them for info about events on and local groups which they might know of.

Good luck cheers Jas

Posted: 18-Jul-2010

Re: Advice please

Thank you for all your advice, it's really helped and made me aware that there's no time like the present to be getting on with things and getting out there.
Love & Hugs
Jas xxx

Posted: 23-Jul-2010

Re: Advice please

Good on ya !! and I want to know how it all works out!

Regards Jas

Posted: 23-Jul-2010

Re: Advice please

Ok. Here's an update
My straight friend and I went to a gay bar and I loved it it was so friendly problem was it was very quiet for a Saturday night- anyway had a lovely time just dancing to the music and it has kind of given me the urge to get out more.
Love & Hugs
Jas

Posted: 18-Aug-2010